Saturday, July 18, 2009

Generation Gap

My son, who will soon be 21, is living a much different life than I would have chosen for him. And like most mothers everywhere I love him with all my heart and want the best for him. Which includes standing by him even when I completely disagree with him. I made this little piece to reflect my dilemma about one area of his life. You will have to see the image full size to understand. The words circled in gray stitching are his, the words circled in red stitching are mine.

This is quite a departure from my usual crazy quilting. And I am kind of scared to post it, for obvious reasons. I hope it touches some other mother or mothers who might need reminding, as I do from time to time, that we don't have to approve of our childrens' actions, we just have to keep loving them and encouraging them. It's hard, at least for me, to hold kindness and compassion in my heart when I am in pain. And this situation has been filled with pain for me.

Enough serious stuff! It's Saturday and my husband is working on the wiring in my studio so that I can finally start having Art Day with my friends next week! Anyone up for a trip to my house?


  1. Donna, what a poignant piece! Seems I've had that conversation with my middle son, too. Love the letters you stamped on; looks like another "need" for my list. Thanks for sharing! Hugs, Cathy

  2. Sometimes the best form of parenting is NOT parenting at all..just get out of the way and let life happen to them..Eventually, they will "get it".... as our kids grow older and make their own choices (right or wrong), we as parents have to learn to re-invent ourselves. Debbie (Maine)

  3. Wow. I hardly know what to say. I think this is a beautiful piece of work, and I think you're wise to know when to step back and when to speak up. He's lucky to have a mom he can talk to, and a mom who won't hesitate to say so when she disapproves. I wish he and I were closer. I still think of him as being the age he is in this picture. When did he grow up?

  4. Don't know if you'll ever see this, since it's old...
    but in my own case, my 3 children all started, and I emphasize STARTED growing into adulthood about age 25. They were competent in a lot of areas before then, but I could see such a change in maturity when they started reaching that age.

  5. Yvonne, thanks! I try to have no expectations of him when it comes to the speed at which he is maturing, but that 'deadline' is nice to know.